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I tried to piece him together. My grandmother always told me, “ you can’t change a man, so there is no need to try.” I didn’t listen. She said it more than once. From what I recall, I must have heard her say it to different people many times growing up. But to me, she only said it once, and obviously it did not stick.

Everyone is selfish to a certain extent. We are human,wanting what we want when we want it. I try to exercise patience. For the most part, I think I do a damn good job. I have more patience with people than most others I know. But in terms of men, that offers me nothing. I had doubts from the beginning, but I ignored them because I thought that I had too many doubts. As if it makes me uneccessarily negative. So I ignored the doubts and got involved with him anyway.

One good thing that I can say is that he is different than other men. But that difference doesn’t seem to be enough. Or is it enough and I can’t see it? Am I making things difficult? Impossible? Will I be our ultimate demise? I tried to piece together his puzzle perfectly. To make sure that I had locked all of the pieces firmly in place. To make sure that all of the edges were straight, that none were bent or sticking out.

I was careful. Or so I thought. “This one would be different.” Had to be. Or I would give up all together. “you can’t change a man, so there is no need to try.” That’s what she use to say, and I didn’t listen. Not even the little things that seem like small, but significant changes will make a difference. I went left, I convinced him to come with me instead of going right. I back myself into this corner every single time.

What does that say about me? Am I asking for too much? Do I want too much? Expect too much? I wanted so badly for things to work out. For things to be better than they were before. I wanted to put together this puzzle carefully and perfectly. But perfect doesn’t exist. The pieces do not always fit. I can not change this man or any man, so there is no need to try. But I am missing a few pieces, and I see more disappearing everyday.

1 thought on “Puzzle”

  1. And thats what matters – take time to get YOUR puzzle together….don’t let all your pieces disappear. Once you have em, and they are all in order, then man that can understand that puzzle and why it is the way it is….will be perfect, even with all his flaws!

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