What a wild and wonderful week it was last week. So much learning about muthafuckas and the things that they do. The learning process of new people I find quite thrilling because they are bound to do something you might not expect sooner or later, or they will do everything that you expect, sooner or later. Either way its good shit, and away we go!
So, day one I put gas in your car, day two I take you out for lunch, provide an ear and listen to you bullshit yourself and me, ( you know niggas normally get paid $75 to do that shit?), and give you some drank, and in the end, I’m the asshole? I grimace and realize that you might be a city’s worth of ass, you are still that kind of nigga. What you think just because you have problems that gives you the right to be a funky bitch? EVERYBODY got fucking problems! Tell you what, go ahead and fool yourself thinking that two people with no kind of birth control, fucking furiously will somehow not end up with a baby. If you do manage to make that nigga put on a condom, how long will it be before he finds a way to take it off? Basically, stop playing games and be the queendom you claim to overstand to be… or was that the liquor talking? Asking me about my penile business and then a week later you seem to have forgotten you had to pull yourself away from my bed. If that doesn’t make me special, it makes you loose.
And now for your boy, he’s one of those kind of niggas. One of them sunglasses in the night club kinda pretend pretty boy kinda niggas, one of them skinny jean saggin, pretend intellectual thug kinda niggas. The kind that you would probably fuck, huh? Typical nigga bullshit, for your typical vagina. Hey, homepiss, she’s all yours, I was just along for the ride to see how long you two could front. Not long at all, probably because both of your acts are thin.
Moving on… Oompa, We are not going to be fucking, so forget it!
Lea, at first it seemed you fucked me pretty good on this one. But guess what bitch? I’m unstoppable! And no old wrinkled clap trap can do anything about it!
200 pounds lost and about 50% of your god damned sense went with it! Talking all that shit when you sling your pussy around like its going out of style. I actually tried to ignore this fact about you, but this just came out too strong. And now you’ve got a baby on the way with some loser who you barely even know? Good work, Stupid.
So you lied to yourself, and then you lied to everyone else? Well since you are my true homie, let me get ready for what’s coming. I still have your back because at least you owned up to what you did, unlike these other muthafuckas. And I promise I won’t fuck up the wedding, but I guess I now have find another friend because you know how niggas are. And by niggas I mean you.
As some of you may know, you can all kiss my ass.
But for those of you that don’t, you can kiss my ass.
Glad I got that bit of hostility out of the way… But wait there’s one more I almost forgot!
You, wagon wheel, are an emotional little tart with a fucked up attitude and less impulse control than the average 9 year old.
You, politrickal eyeball, are an emotionally crippled crab with an unrealistic expectation of grown folks because you are still not one, and refuse to become one because you’ve been pretending to be one for so long. Older men do not make you older, they just introduce you to things that you young mind cannot handle and fuck you up before you have a chance to grow.
Despite both of your lusty physical dimensions, you are not nearly voluminous enough to fuck with this here!
And I dont even know the rest of the shit you’re hiding! Why are you hiding it? There’s no need to lie! Fuck who you wanna fuck! Its your pussy! place it where you are most powerful! Feminists! I know you feel me!
and finally…